There’s nothing worse than being stuck with a travel companion from hell. Choosing the perfect mate is tantamount to finding a perfect marriage partner. It’s the most important decision you can make. If you already have an ideal travel mate, you’re one of the lucky few.
My husband and I share the love of food so our travel itineraries always revolve around local restaurants. We once followed a popular chef’s culinary footsteps. On our first visit to Osaka, we ate at all the restaurants the late Anthony Bourdain recommended on his show, No Reservations. I also relish traveling with my three friends from college who share the same interests and curiosities as I do.
The singular key characteristic is chemistry. Imagine being with this person, day and night, for the duration of your journey, whether it’s a short weekend at the beach or a 21-day odyssey crisscrossing Europe. It can seem longer than eternity with the wrong companion. In fact, it can be a 24/7 nightmare. Doing your homework upfront is critical.
Here are 10 random questions to ask yourself:
- Does this person have the same budget as you? Are they looking to eat at Michelin star restaurants while you’re thinking pizza and beer every night? Do they want to stay at 5-star hotels while you’re more into hosteling? If so, a compromise is highly recommended.
- Do you enjoy the same type of interests and activities? Do they aim for the hotel pool for an afternoon of Mai Tais and sun, while you head out to the closest hiking trails? Do they prefer to shop the Strøget while you’re more interested in Cathedral-hopping? If so, they simply may not be a good match.
- Does this person share the same drinking (alcohol) and eating habits with you? I always feel awkward ordering a double Bloody Mary with the Big Breakfast Combo while the others order a feeble bowl of oatmeal with fresh fruit on the side. Maybe it’s just me, but I don’t want to be the gorilla at the table. Find people who eat and drink as you do.
- Does this person tend to be moody or cranky? Nothing spoils a trip faster than a pouty person. They make everyone feel uncomfortable. Is it something I did or said? Or something I didn’t do or say? Best to leave these people at home.
- Is this person a complainer? The best-laid plans will go awry and will inevitably hit Murphy’s Law head-on like canceled flights, railroad strikes, food poisoning, or getting stuck with a crappy hotel room. Travel forces you to be flexible and to go with the flow. Don’t waste your time complaining.
- Is this person culturally-tolerant? Traveling is about experiencing different foods, lifestyles, and people. You are expected to take your shoes off before entering someone’s house in Japan. In Europe, dinners are served late, usually after 9 pm or 10 pm. In Morocco, women must cover their bare skin. Flush toilets don’t exist in some parts of the world. I’ve traveled internationally with friends who were upset because there were no Starbucks nearby for their daily dose of caffeine. I hate clichés but “When in Rome, do as the Romans do.”
- Is this person an incessant talker? Have you noticed how some people simply talk a lot – endlessly (or mindlessly) about themselves or about their work or about their families? This person will wear you out mentally and emotionally. Unless it’s an overnighter, I would not include this person as a top contender.
- Is this person a Know-It-All? This is an easy one. Everyone knows a Know-It-All, and no one likes them. Leave them at home.
- Is this person clingy? We all need our space. While traveling is about sharing experiences, you may want to wander on your own at times. Not everyone wants to do the same things or go into the same shops or eat at the same restaurants. An ideal situation is to do your own thing during the day, and then meet up for dinner at night. Sharing your adventures at mealtime makes for great conversation.
- Does this person make you laugh? If all else fails, laughter is the solution to practically everything! People with no sense of humor will sap the joy out of your travel experiences. Avoid them.
Before your next trip, sit down with your friends (or relatives) and determine your goals. Be transparent and discuss what everyone wants out of the trip. Be willing to compromise. Try going on a short weekend trip to see if you have chemistry. I’ve done a few overnighters with friends, and by the end of the trip, I knew they would not be a good fit. There will be a few trial and errors before you find your perfect companions, but ultimately, you’ll discover who they are. Happy traveling!
